Hand in the Candy Jar

Appearing so inviting

        bright rainbow colors

                delectable shapes

Calling to my taste buds

        solid pieces

                creamy centers

Drawing me to appealing

        nutty caramel

                milk chocolate

All deceptively good

        instantaneously

                then craving more

My hand stuck in the candy jar

        greedily grabbing hold

                yearning for new satisfaction

Holding onto sins leaves me

        unhappy

                desiring more

Why Should I Forgive?

Do you write comments in the margins of your Bible? I do. This morning I ran across a comment in the margin that caused a flash of negative emotion. I suddenly and intensely remembered the destruction that the acrimonious dissolving of a relationship with a close Christian friend caused. I think the extreme hurt I experienced is a result not only of the former emotional closeness but also because of the sharing of our spiritual lives. This former friend’s name and a comment were scribbled in my Bible beside this verse.

“So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.” 1 Thessalonians 2:8  ESV

A flood of emotions engulfed me. I remembered the hurt and the time of difficulty. It is such an ingrained part of our human nature—to bring up the hurts and to nurse them. I wanted to focus on me and my feelings, my wants, my desires. That is why at times I have struggled with mild depression and anger. How can I expect to not be angry and depressed if I choose to spend time rehashing old hurts and rationalizing my behaviors? I am sure that by now, my side of the story only vaguely resembles what really happened. In my mind, my behavior has been justified and the other person’s behavior has been vilified. What have I gained? Nothing but the negative experiences caused by anger and depression. You would think that by making the events look better from my perspective would make me happier not sadder. That is not the case. The more I think about those sad events and sanitize my actions, the more I feel the strength of the negativism the breakup of a Christian friendship created. Scripture has instructions for dealing with other Christians.

 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up...” 1 Thessalonians 5:11a  ESV

“…Be at peace among yourselves.” 1 Thessalonians 5:13b  ESV

   

“See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone.” 1 Thessalonians 5:15  ESV

So if I want to follow God’s directions, I must choose to forgive and let go of the bad memories.  I must purposefully choose to focus on the good traits of Christians and the endearing memories. I must, at a heart level, seek only what is good for my former friend.  

Lord, give me the ability to choose to remember the good times. Create in me the mindset of building up and seeking the good for all of my fellow Christians. Give me a forgiving spirit when others do not meet my expectations.

Guns and God—Breaking the Mold

“Do you want to get a Kansas hunting license? Then come on over to The Benton Church for the Kansas Department of Wildlife, Parks, and Tourism (KDWPT) hunters education course.” That was the invitation this fall. And what an event it was!

Why would a church allow a hunting course to be taught in the church building? Because hunting is a family activity in our community. It is an excellent way for fathers to build relationships with their sons (yes, mothers and daughters enjoy hunting too). The actual course is taught by KDWPT approved instructors, but local volunteers are needed for a successful event.

Ken Taber saw the need for a local hunter education course. He checked the church calendar for availability, secured permission to hold the event, and arranged for the instructor. Of course he enlisted the support of his wife Kim. Ken’s friends Don Hoover and Todd Crouch were eager to help him in planning and conducting the event. Naturally there were doubters who said no one would attend an event in our small town. Wrong. Our location on a major highway meant easy access, and The Benton Church was glad to promote our location to the outlying communities

One of the disadvantages given for holding the event in Benton was the lack of fast-food restaurants in our town.  The closest one is over fifteen minutes away so people would have very little time for lunch on Saturday. However, that was no obstacle for the Tabers. They sought donations for lunch and refreshments. Dustrol in Towanda and Ditchwitch in Wichita provided money for food as did the church and some friends. For the free lunch Saturday, tacos with all the fixings were served. Kim’s mother, Mike Erikson, Laurie Pfeiffer, Barb Crouch, and Aubrey Pirtle helped with cooking and serving food. Snacks and bottled water were available for breaks in the sessions.

Because Ken and Kim wanted people to feel comfortable in the church setting, they made sure class members were greeted in the parking lot and volunteers were available to assist at various times throughout the event. Karsten Reilly, Don Hoover, Curt Ghormley, Jeff Schiesser, Joel Fox, Todd Pfeiffer, and others provided help with technology, security, training assistance, and answering questions. These church members not only provided help for the event, but they witnessed to the people present. It was not an in-your-face witnessing but the very relational, friendly type of conversations which take place each Sunday between services. Some of the people had not been inside a church in many years. The church men could easily talk with these people about hunting and sprinkle in some information about church activities and praise to God. Both the ladies and men who volunteered were skillful at putting people at ease in strange surroundings. Several Benton Church middle school church youth were attending the course. These young men confidently worked to make the visitors in their church feel welcome.

Serving others is natural for Kim. Because she is a teacher, Kim was asked to read the test to a couple of boys who were difficulty with reading.  This course was not about reading skill. It was about knowing how to hunt safely. So Kim took the boys to a location where she could read the test to them. The boys were able to demonstrate that they knew the material well.

Over one hundred people were at this event because parents bringing children chose to stay. They saw how our men controlled misbehaviors in a friendly relational manner before the behaviors became a problem. They saw church men and women having a joyful time serving others.

Quite often God works in ways which seem illogical to us. People who seldom, maybe never step inside a church, found being in a church building to be a pleasant experience. This event demonstrated that Christians are relational and caring. It was promoting family activity. God provided an opportunity for the un-churched to have contact with Christians who are not stuffy do-gooders but are real people who love to have fun.

Jesus prayed to God the Father, “I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one.” John 17:15  ESV

Losing My Mind

I fear losing my mind. Alzheimer’s is a very prevalent disease on my father’s side of the family. As the disease progressed and eventually took my father’s life, I experienced  frustration with my inability to do anything to prevent my father’s mental deterioration. All my mother, brothers, and I could do was to make him as comfortable as possible, to provide safe surroundings, and to demonstrate how much we loved him.

Alzheimer’s is such an insidious disease because the brain actually deteriorates. I’ve seen pictures of the brain of a person with this disease. The affected brain has holes which are left when surrounding brain tissue stuck together in an unnatural manner. It is impossible to restore the brain matter which has been destroyed. I fear this?

I try to keep up with the latest information about how to avoid Alzheimer’s as there is no known cure, and it tends to run in families. The current information is only about how to retard its development and to slow its destruction of brain tissue.

Current advice says to control cholesterol, control weight, control blood pressure, eat fruit (especially berries), and exercise. Sounds like living a controlled, healthy life. Self-control is one of the lessons God’s Word teaches.

 “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age.” Titus 2:11-12  ESV

Not only does advise for slowing or avoiding Alzheimer’s involve living a physically healthy life, but it also admonishes us to live a mentally healthy life. It has something to do with our ability to keep mental pathways healthy and to retain the ability to build new connections in the brain if old ones become unavailable.  The advice of brain experts is to think, problem solve, and learn to do new things.  Suggestions generally include doing crossword puzzles, learning a new language, and learning to play a musical instrument for which you have no skill. In other words, keep learning. Actively involve your brain.

“ For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness.”  2 Peter 1:5-6  ESV

I see no guarantees, but if I remain active, have a healthy lifestyle, and avoid gluttony I may stand a chance of greatly delaying if not totally avoiding the Alzheimer’s curse.

So, I intend to follow God’s plan for living.

Lord, thank you for giving me workable and sensible guidelines for living this life well. Give me the willingness to do as you direct.

Foggy Brain

Can’t concentrate

All’s unclear

I hear

I see

I feel

BUT

Can’t think

Like a bridal veil obscuring the brides face

My brain cannot clearly discern

Why Not?

Lord, remove the fog

That I may clearly see

One Out of Ten

Look at people around you. What expressions are on their faces? What must be in their minds? Are they pleasant thoughts or unpleasant feelings? Are they grateful? Think about it. When you thank someone, do you frown? Of course not. You put a pleasant expression on your face. You recognize that the other person has given something of themselves to provide meaning and pleasure to you.

“…he was met by ten lepers…they were cleansed. Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus' feet, giving him thanks…” Luke 17:12b, 14-16a ESV

Recently Pastor John preached on Luke 17:11-19. He was challenging us to show our gratitude to others. In this passage only one of the healed lepers said thank you to Jesus. Can’t you imagine the huge grin Jesus saw come across his face as the leper realized the miracle of healing which had just taken place. Picture the smile that must have crossed the face of Jesus as he watched the reaction of this grateful man. And how Jesus must have grieved that only one—1/10 of those healed—displayed gratitude. Very sad.

We all recognize the selfishness of the ungrateful nine and the unpleasant people we encounter daily. When we do something nice for someone else, we are quick to point our fingers and shake our heads if they do not display appreciation in words and actions. But do we even recognize the nice things others do for us? How often do we smile at those who befriend us? Are we too busy watching out for “numero uno” to say thank you. So what if the cashier is only doing her job? When was the last time you smiled at a store employee? How selfish are your behaviors in both public and private encounters?

A couple of days after pastor’s sermon, my husband and I received a thoughtfully handwritten thank you note from a couple whose children we had worked with in our classrooms and in the gym over fifteen years ago. We were surprise, and our hearts were warmed. One thank you I will never forget happened in the front lobby of the local hospital. It was a chance encounter with a father whose four children I had taught and my husband had coached in school athletics. He had a very serious, reserved countenance, and his words went something like this, “I know people do not often tell you this, but I appreciate what you and Ray did for my kids.” Later I learned that his son had committed suicide, and he was probably at the hospital as a result of that tragic event. His son was a veteran who had valiantly served our country under very difficult circumstances. He was truly a casualty of war. How amazing that this grieving father took time to show gratitude.

“Give thanks in all circumstances…” 1 Thessalonians 5:18a ESV

When others express gratitude to us, our faces relax and our expressions become pleasant.

So, say thank you often and with sincerity. Do your part to warm hearts and encourage others to smile.

Lord, create in me a thankful heart. Show me who I need to thank. Create in me an irresistible need to demonstrate appreciation to others and to you.

Just a Comment

Just a comment—an innocent comment. That is all it took to cause an old scar from a very nasty, jagged wound to ooze blood again. I told myself I was being silly to let those harmless words affect me. I have worked through the relational issues and realized I was also at fault. Now the relationship is on a somewhat civil status even though I have tried to repair damage with very limited success. I hold no grudges—only good will. However, Satan is a powerful foe. Both of us let him delude and control us as small tremors became full-fledged earthquakes in our friendship.

This time an innocent comment during a phone conversation came from a person who had no idea that the words would be problematic for me—that old hurts would surface and tears stream down my cheeks. The next day one sentence in an email from a different person, not written to hurt but only to inform, brought old wounds violently to the surface. This time my emotional scar didn't just ooze. It was ripped wide open--bleeding freely. The senselessness of it all is so hard to understand. At this time I am no longer angry--only retain mild hurt that has potential to spiral out of control if allowed free reign. Why do simple, coincidental words bring such pain—such a feeling of helplessness? I grieve at this nonsensical loss of friendship.

“He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief…” Isaiah 53:3 ESV

It is at times like these that I understand why Jesus was referred to as a man of sorrows. Even hundreds of years before he was born to Mary, his sorrow was prophesied. He was betrayed by close friends, yet he forgave and gently brought believers back into a close relationship with him.

My struggles with what I consider to be a nonsensical rift in a valued friendship has lead me closer to Christ. I have had to admit that all the things I have tried have failed completely. Why can’t I quit trying the ways of this world? Why can’t I rest easy knowing God is in control and he will repair the emotional damage in his time in his way. It is because I am tired of innocent comments or situations ripping open my emotional scars. I yearn for heaven where there will be no tears—only smiles, music, and joy. Jesus made it very clear that Christians will suffer sorrows on earth but we will have unquenchable joy with him in heaven.

“So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.” John 16:22 ESV

So even though this life is full of difficulties because of Satan’s interference, I know there is an eternity of joy in my future.

Lord, make me focus on you and not on the evil that Satan is working. Make me recognize his work. Clearly show me your will for my actions and words then give me the power through the Holy Spirit to unquestioningly do as you direct.