Hurry Up

Those who know me best think I am hyper. Although I do have many of the characteristics of an ADHD person, I detest that label for me. I prefer to think of myself as high energy and efficient. I get a lot done. Never mind that I have two or three projects going at once as I juggle caring for my mother-in-law and run errands for my mother. Never mind that I seldom sit down to relax, and I never sit down to do nothing. Watching TV is a way too passive an activity for me to enjoy except on rare occasions when I am really tuckered out.

Some people are intimidated, or maybe irritated is a better word, by my need to be doing things. I am task oriented and like to mark things off my list. Lists--that is another issue. I make endless lists to keep myself focused on what has to be done today. Otherwise I get sidetracked doing the things I want to do versus the things that must get done. Of course I now have two items which are being repeatedly written on my daily list. I just do not seem to get around to doing them. Procrastination reigns if it is something I do not like to do or do not feel confident in my ability to do well.

Since May 20 this spring, I have been extremely frustrated. About the only thing I have been able to do is sit around. My left hip and leg just will not function correctly. Even though this part of my body is gradually becoming more functional, it is at an agonizingly slow pace. To do almost anything, I have to ask my beleaguered husband to help me. He is currently chief cook, dishwasher, launderer, house cleaner, and caregiver to his mother. He does not need to add meeting all my whims and needs to that list.

“Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:4 NIV

Some people are so good at following this biblical advice. A wonderful, sweet older lady at church this Sunday inquired about how I was healing. I gave her the brief update of “I am doing better but am not nearly back to normal activity.” She asked how she could pray for me. I responded, “Pray that I can do God’s will—be right with him—throughout this ordeal.”

It is so easy to feel sorry for myself. My pain and extremely slow pace are so difficult. Yet I know that God will richly reward me if I stay focused on him.

“However, as it is written: ‘No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him’ — but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.” 1 Corinthians 2:9-10 NIV

So I have to slow down and pay attention to what God is doing. He has made sure my “hurry up” mode of operation is virtually impossible.

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;” Psalm 37:7a NIV

Lord, thank you for slowing me down. Show me how to stay focused on you instead of the busyness of the day’s activities. Keep me close to you.