Too Old

Today is my birthday, and I do not like it. Well, I take that back. I like having another birthday—cards, Facebook birthday greetings, and a gift or two are special. Another birthday means I am still living and enjoying family and friends. However, I am having a hard time with this birthday. Turning forty was fun. Turning fifty was a big joke in my mind. Over the hill at fifty—me?—not really. But this is my sixty-second birthday. Bummer! I do not have very many years left, and I am officially old enough to collect Social Security.

Now I have to face the reality that my life is more than half over. Yes, I know I can die at any moment. But if I do not contract a serious disease or have a major accident, my expected life span is about thirty more years. That is a sobering thought. What do I want to accomplish or experience before I die? The sobering part is that I will not have thirty productive years. Health and mobility issues for the eighty-year-olds usually limit what the older person can accomplish. So more than likely I have twenty “good” years. How do I want to live them? What is important to me? Scripture makes it clear that the things we humans tend to value are not the things God values. If the next twenty to thirty years are to be pleasing to God, I must intensify my focus on Him.

“For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit,” Romans 14:17 NIV

I’m now old enough to collect Social Security payments although at a reduced rate. I guess I should be glad that money is available to me. It signals that I do not have to work anymore. Never mind that I have not worked for pay for four years now. I’ve been developing housewife skills and skills in caring for our elderly parents. I have learned so much about health care that I almost think studying to become a nurse would only be a review of my current knowledge. (That is an exaggeration, but I think you get the point.)

At some level, being old enough to collect Social Security makes me feel out-of-date, useless. I do not feel too old to be a productive citizen. I do not feel like I am ready to be "put out to pasture." However, the American society values youth and youthful leisure activities. What are we oldies supposed to do when we are too old to work? If we are too old to work are we too old to play? The entertainment industry seems to think the only way elders play is sitting back and sipping a drink. Even then, older people are often portrayed as useless and cantankerous.

I do not want to have the lifestyle of retired luxury. I do not want to sit on a cruise ship and sip iced tea. I want to be a productive, vital part of society. I want to be valued by the people around me—not looked on with pity because I cannot work or be productive.

I feel like I am thirty. Wait a minute. I have spent the better part of the past month in physical therapy because of an injury which has caused standing upright to be very painful. Maybe it would be more accurate to say I feel like I am forty-five. No matter, I know I still have something to offer those I love, my church, my neighbors, and society.

“The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” Matthew 23:11-12 NIV

My Savior taught that we are to be servants. He did NOT say anything about retiring from servanthood at the age of sixty-two. Many of the Bible stories imply that older women are important and have specific tasks. At one point God even gives the older women specific responsibilities.

“Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” Titus 2:4-5 NIV

So, it seems clear to me that I am to stop focusing on the age and start focusing more on God and his commands. Age is irrelevant. Worshipping God is paramount.

Lord, take my eyes off worldly concerns. Draw me close to you each moment of each and every day.