I have learned how to become invisible. I involuntarily accomplished this feat the other evening for about thirty minutes. It would have gone on longer but I have not learned to control my responses to invisibility.
Let me explain what happened. I have been trying to re-establish a casual relationship with a former friend. We have had some rather severe difficulties recently. I’d like to say it is all her fault, but it is not. I have definitely contributed my share to the unrest. Of this I am ashamed. I know that it says in James.
“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” James 1:19-20 NIV
My human nature was firmly in control on this one. Part of the problem is that Satan is very skilled at making sure my buttons are pushed at the most opportune times to trigger my loss of control. I am so thankful that God is exposing this level of sin to me and is giving me the ability to control my hurt and anger better than I could a year ago. It has been a painful but increasingly profitable lesson from God.
I am going to explain what happened from my viewpoint solely for the purposes of exploring the human response. I had asked for a ride to a recent social event. My husband was not going to be able to attend so I thought it would be a chance to have some relaxed social interaction and maybe be able to start the healing process in our rocky relations. The first five minutes were good. But then everything rapidly fell apart. A secret was whispered to another person in the car just loud enough so I could hear. The information would have only been a minor surprise if said openly, and I would have responded with a polite comment or appropriate question. The ineffective attempt at secrecy hurt. But that was not the real issue of the evening. The real issue was that as soon as the engine of the vehicle stopped, I stopped being visible. I was not looked at or spoken to for the next thirty minutes. Other people all around me were eagerly embraced in friendly conversation. I did not exist. I was invisible. I felt like the only reason I was given a ride was as a charitable civic duty performed for a needy underling. I was not wanted. I was deeply hurt again. I could not keep my mouth shut.
“Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” James 1:15 NIV
So, later that evening I did some serious reflection. I wondered if I had ever treated someone else as if she was invisible. Sadly, I must admit I have although I did not do it intentionally. I have been thoughtless--insensitive—wrapped up in fun encounters with others. Or on days when I am a bit blue or suffering from a physical issue, I may not interact politely with anyone. At these times I have treated others as if they are invisible and that is inexcusable. The realization of the extent of my sin took me to my knees.
“ Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Luke 6:31 NIV
The evening ended in disaster. I started out doing the right thing but fell into sin within the first five minutes. How frustrating my sin nature is!
Lord, make me sensitive to others around me. Give me the wisdom and words to validate them as your valuable creations.
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