Disposable

I saw a couple of interesting discussions on Facebook tonight.

The first was based on this quote. “Never ever make someone your priority when they only make you an option.” My first response was definite agreement. I have just come through a time of trying to hold together a crumbling relationship because the other person, in my opinion, took me for granted and basically considered me a convenience. I felt like I was disposable. It has been extremely hurtful because for several years I had considered this person a dear life-long friend.

After reflecting on this Facebook quote a bit longer, I realized that it is only true if you do not have a biblical perspective. Humanly, I agree with the quote one hundred percent. But I cannot find that attitude in scripture. What I do find over and over again is that man is fallible and sinful. Even King David, a man after God’s own heart, disappointed and let down people who depended on him and believed in him. Uriah was a trusted military leader but David ordered him to a position in the battle which would ensure Uriah’s death because David coveted after Uriah’s wife. Joab, the commander-in-chief of David’s army, must have been greatly disillusioned with this command because Uriah was one of his best officers.

“In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it with Uriah. In it he wrote, ‘Put Uriah in the front line where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die.’" 2 Samuel 11:14-15 NIV

So even great men who fear God can disappoint because of sin in their lives. Even godly men may wrongfully treat others as disposable if it suits an uncontrolled sinful urge.

I saw another Facebook post by a person who is very dear to me. It said, “Seeing in black and white the hurtful things that someone else ‘says’ about you is very eye-opening (& hurtful!).” When someone maligns you behind your back, in print, or through modern electronic media, that person considers your relationship disposable. Her heart is consumed only with herself and her immediate wants.

But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' Matthew 15:18 NIV

So deliberately unkind comments, whether verbal or written, actually demonstrate the condition of the speaker’s heart. The person who says or texts hurtful things is letting the world know her heart is not right with God.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4 NIV

So whenever we make hurtful comments or consider friendships disposable, it is sin and we must ask forgiveness. Anytime we get our eyes on people, things of the world, or circumstances, we will be disappointed because our world is full of sinful behaviors—some blatant and some subtle. The only person we can rely on never wounding us is the Lord Jesus Christ.

Lord, show me when I treat others as disposable. Show me when my words are unkind and untruthful. Give me the courage to admit I am wrong and to seek forgiveness from the persons I have wronged.