Not an Accident

It is not an accident that I am here at this time experiencing this set of circumstances. It is God ordained. God knows I need to experience the events that I am experiencing so that I will draw closer to him—so that he can use me for his glory. I understand this. It is one of the things I love about serving my God. However, I do not like what is happening right now. I am frustrated and angry with myself because I know I should rise above the petty things which are making me mad.

A person in my life is saying some hurtful and thoughtless things to me. I do not believe these things are being said to be mean. The comments are either ego protecting or said supposedly out of thoughtfulness. Why do I let them get to me? It is because I am trying so hard to do what is right and my pride wants my efforts recognized. That realization is part of why I am angry with myself. I know I am sinning.

“For the sake of your name, O Lord, forgive my iniquity, though it is great. Psalm 25:11 NIV

For Christians, God will forgive our sins if we ask, but there is a condition.

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15 NIV

So we cannot nurse our hurts and refuse to forgive if we want God to forgive our sins.

This is a tough one for me. I tend to hang onto hurts longer than I should. I examine them and rationalize my behaviors. Sometimes I am utterly innocent. In my eyes the offending person is totally at fault. Usually though I eventually recognize my culpability in the hurtful incident—either in the initiation or non-resolution. It often takes me a long time to work through my hurt. Forgiveness normally comes in stages or only partially. However, Scripture clearly says we are to forgive completely.

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13 NIV

The Lord forgives wholly and immediately when we ask him. Okay, I can understand this concept. I am to forgive. It will be hard to perfect, but I can work on it. My issue is with someone who repeatedly hurts me. Once or twice, I can handle because we all are thoughtless or insensitive at times. But after that….

“Then Peter came up and said to him, ‘Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.’” Matthew 18:21-22 ESV

Let’s see here. I have forgiven the person who is currently frustrating me four times for the same thing. After that I started getting angry. According to Jesus, I have to forgive 486 more times. In other words, I must forgive over and over again. Jesus has to continually forgive me for my repeated sins. If I am to be “Jesus with skin on” I must not restrict my forgiveness.

Lord, through the power of the Holy Spirit, give me a forgiving heart.